The Cost of Being the Strong One

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Pushkin. Hey, Slight Changers. In honor of International Women's Month, we're revisiting a conversation with Christy Warren, a former firefighter and paramedic who spent decades showing up for people on some of the worst days of their lives. Christy was the kind of first responder you'd want in a crisis: steady, capable, and deeply committed to helping others. Over time, though, the emotional weight of the job began to take its toll, and Christy had to confront mental health issues that for so long she had stuffed deep down. This episode is about what happens when the person you rely on needs help herself, and the courage it takes to ask for it. Christy is one of my favorite guests we've had on A Slight Change of Plans, and I'm so glad to be bringing you this episode today. I hope you enjoy it. A final note before we dive in. This episode contains sensitive material, so please take care while listening.

[humming music] There's so many important things that go on in this world, and so many important people, but when your life is falling apart, you know, or the worst day of your life, I mean, who's more valuable than some person who's gonna come and fix it or who's gonna come and save you?

Christy Warren served as a firefighter and paramedic in California starting in the 1990s. She was committed to being one of the toughest and strongest members on her team, and often that meant concealing the challenging emotions that came along with daily exposure to life and death situations. For decades, Christy placed every difficult feeling she experienced into a box in the back of her mind. But after a while, the box became so full it burst open.

It was like being locked in a movie theater with something just horrible playing with the volume turned all the way up and the brightness turned all the way up, and you can't close your eyes, and you, you can't get away from it. And that would go on for, I mean, all day until I'd fall asleep and, you know, then I'd have nightmares, and I'd wake up screaming, and I'd flip myself out of bed, and I'd just... It, it was just, like, the most painful thing ever.

[humming music] On today's episode, what happens when a first responder needs saving? I'm Maya Shankar, and this is A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become in the face of a big change. I actually got to know Christy Warren through A Slight Change of Plans. She was a fan of the show and reached out to me about her transformative experiences as a first responder. I was really taken by Christy's message and her thoughtful, candid nature. I asked her if she would join me on the show and share her story with all